Hallowhine

It all started last Saturday.  The littles were kind of whiny and coming down with colds, as were we.  We could deal with that.  Short Pants was so excited about trick-or-treating (meaning, the chance to stuff his mouth full of candy) that we took them downtown (this is a roughly 10 foot square area compromised of 2 gas stations, a Dollar General, a really bad diner, and some houses) in our tiny town to go trick-or-treating.  Pita Pocket refused to wear a costume AT ALL, so we had a knight and a cute toddler:

As you can see, the candy eating started even before we were out the door.  The boys were *very* tired/whiny that evening, so we put them to bed early and told ourselves things would be better in the morning. 

Umm, no.  They weren't.  At all.  It just got worse...day after day after day...till we came to Tuesday.

Let me give you an excerpt from one phone conversation yesterday:

The Mister:  "Hello?"

Me:  "I am about to Lose.  My.  Motherbleeping.  Mind."

Repeat like 4 times.  I honestly fantasized dropping them off at some mythical daycare that would HAVE to take them for the day because I was paying them.  I enviously thought about my husband and how damned lucky he was to be sitting in front of a computer at work dealing with people he didn't want to deal with because at least *those* people didn't start crying every 30 seconds to be carried and need their nose wiped.  The highlight of the day was playtime outside in a desperate bid to placate my demon spawn.  Pita Pocket screamed because he wanted to go on a walk, while Short Pants screamed because he wanted to play in the sandbox. 

15 minutes later...I tell the boys that we need to go inside because Mama's brain is about to fall out.  Short Pants proceeds to run shrieking through the yard in the opposite direction.  Of course, our neighbor is outside working in his yard.  Swell.  I pick up Pita Pocket and start to lug him into the house.  Short Pants refuses to come with me.  Better than swell!  As I deposit little #2 inside the house I can hear little #1 screaming at the top of his lungs over and over, "Wifey!  Wifey!  Wifey!" (oh yeah, did I ever mention that for the past almost 3 months he refers to me as "wifey" and never "mommy" anymore?  He's heard The Mister call me that one too many times.  And yes, I know it's a somewhat silly nickname for my husband to call me, but give me a break here - at least it's not something like "Sexy Gurrl," right?")  

So I pick up my Wifey-screaming son and lug him up the stairs and into the house.  The entire time he's shrieking like I'm strangling him and I'm thinking maybe I should since the little bugger is also kicking me too.  

I'd like to say that then everyone got over it and we were all ok, but I can't.  What happened is that Short Pants and Pita Pocket both threw monster fits while I contemplated just how much I could get for them on the black market.  Then The Mister arrived home and I said, "Look!  It's your daddy!" and ran off upstairs to hide in my craft room.  (Oh, and did I mention that now Pita Pocket can scale the gate that keeps my craft room safe from toddlers?  Life is good!)

I've started watching the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  A recent episode was about a group of kids who somehow got "transpossessed" by a pack of hyenas.  I spent all evening trying to figure out just what the hell transpossessed my littles but still haven't figured it out.  Currently I'm leaning toward rabid flying monkeys. 

Comments

[Zonnah]

It is good to know I am not alone :) Sorry your weekend was so stressful. I could not imagine having to deal with two kids at the same time, you are amazing!

[myboysteacher]

Ack! I hate days like that. About once a month we have one of those.

Buffy is my favorite show of all time. Have you seen Twilight? If you have, and like Buffy, you'll love this:

http://www.rebelliouspixels.com/2009/buffy-vs-edward-twilight-remixed

[Christy]

*hugs* I've been throwing adult tantrums, myself, after dealing with my own whiney children, and they're in daycare most of the day! I've been very thankful for my time sitting at my work desk. Fortunately, we seem to be nearing the end of the sinus infection that would not die, just in time to be screwed up by the time change, but I'm hoping that by the end of this week we'll be a little more cheerful.

Heh, Tom got me the boxed set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for Christmas last year and I'm embarrassed to say I haven't cracked the box yet. Maybe it would provide some comic relief :)

[Mari-Ann]

Oh this just cracked me up. Mind you, I'm not laughing AT you - oh no. I know just how you feel - I've SO been there. And I just have the one demon child! It's days like those when I mentally plan my (imaginary) weekend long trip at a spa in the mountains. :)

[Monica]

Seriously, it's the full moon!! Every month during the full moon, my (2.5 y.o.) son goes cRaZy. He whines, he doesn't know what he wants, yet he knows enough that whatever is happening at the moment is not good. I only have one (well, another one is on the way)-- but you have two... Time to get a locking screen door installed for your craft room lol.

While I have Buffy on DVD, I chose to watch The Office on DVD instead. Maybe next month will be a Buffy month!

[One hook wonder]

LOL! Thanks so much for that link; I will definately be passing it on. Edward is weird enough in the books (though I still liked them!) but was way over the top in the movie - I never even finished it. Go Buffy!

[One hook wonder]

Open it open it open it!

I agree that the time change has only complicated matters around here. The first night the boys went to bed at 6:15pm (!!!) and then Short Pants was up at 5am the next morning - ugh.

Hope you guys are all on the mend now.

[One hook wonder]

No, an amazing mom would have actually found a way to get rid of them! heehee ;)

[One hook wonder]

Now *that's* an idea! All moms should immediately be granted spa time after an icky day.

[One hook wonder]

Oooh - we are Office fans as well!

I'd forgotten about the full moon - I worked ER registration many years ago, and we always had the wackiest nights on full moons!

[bouncy]

Just sitting here and nodding my head... some days are so fricking hard.

[jojoebi]

I feel for you, I had about 6 weeks of this, don't know what possessed by lovely little lad but he turned into an evil little horror and I was ready to send him off to boarding school - in another country - until he was 18!
Then suddenly, one day he got up and the evil monster had disappeared, I still have no idea what set it all off but thank goodness it is over! until the next time no doubt.

[One hook wonder]

Yep. No one tells you till after you become a parent that these little ones who you love the most will also be capable of frustrating you the most. ;)

[One hook wonder]

6 weeks!!! I'm honestly surprised you can still function normally...heehee.

I love your blog by the way. I'm a frequent reader and got some of my ideas for phonics minis from your pouches - thank you!